The summer holidays have started all over the Netherlands. Without school and sports, many children are searching for ways to fill their day, but luckily there is always… the phone.
But how do you get your children away from that screen?
For many parents, smartphone and tablet use during the holidays is a dilemma. King Willem-Alexander and Queen Máxima of the Netherlands announced they would take two or three screen-free weeks with their daughters, and for themselves too.
We asked experts whether that is such a good idea: a few weeks without a phone, tablet or TV.
Media educator Freek Zwanenberg thinks it is. “It is very important to teach children that you can also do without. After all, they are growing up in a time when screens are always there.”
Steven Pont agrees.
“Children then have more real contact with each other and move more.” Boredom is lurking, but according to the Dutch developmental psychologist Pont, that is actually an opportunity. “Boredom is a state of dissatisfaction, and it leads to inventiveness, creativity and initiative.”
Pont also sees a lot in a variant in which children are only allowed to pick up their phone or switch on the TV from 5.30 pm for the whole holiday. That you may not be thanked for it as a parent does not matter, according to him. “You have to set rules and parent firmly. Nobody else is going to do it.”
The relationship between you and the device can also be reset for a while.
Denise Bontje, coordinator at the Dutch knowledge centre Kind en Media
But do you go completely screen-free, or do you choose a middle way in which you use the phone very consciously? For example, not for WhatsApp, but for taking photos or looking something up. “I think it is very brave of the Queen to say ‘we’ll just go cold turkey’,” says Bontje. “It is the quickest way to get used to it, but it is very difficult to say: it is in my bag as a camera, but I am not going to look at messages.”
Zwanenberg would rather argue for a screen-free day or part of a day. “I would love all children to have a few weeks offline, but it creates such a big contrast with reality.” He does not think children use media less or more consciously after such a screen-free period. “They are growing up in that world, so as parents you need to show that the offline world remains the most important.” For example by going out into nature or playing games, and showing that it is nice to do that together and give each other attention.
According to Bontje, a screen-free period like this is also ideal for resetting your relationship. “Not only with each other, as a family, but also between you and the device. A moment to consciously ask yourself: what do I actually want to use this device for?”
According to her, everyone could ask themselves whether you really always have to reply to messages straight away, or whether you could simply look out of the window when you are on the bus. Her advice: use your own screen-free time to think about the example you want to set for your children.
The relationship between your child and the device can also be restarted for a while. It is often automatic for children to watch a video while dinner is being cooked or in a restaurant. “During the holidays they may well notice that they don’t need that at all to entertain themselves,” Bontje adds.
How do you go about it? Tips from the experts
Talk to each other. Start by casually asking what they are doing. Ask questions without judgement, such as ‘why do you think everyone is on Instagram?’ That makes it easier to talk about phone use and your plans for going screen-free.
Parents must join in. If you join in yourself, it becomes a joint project. That makes it easier for the children to go along with it.
Involve the children. Older children can help think of alternatives, for example for taking photos. What are their ideas?
Keep it positive. Don’t say “you can’t touch your phone for the rest of the day”, but offer something fun and offline instead: “Check your messages now, because we are going to do something fun soon and it would be nice if you were there.”
Source: AD.nl
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